Adrenaline kept rushing through his body, shifting gears from one to another – visualizing road like another playground. Recklessness was one of his best traits, as he was flying through the woods in his trusty old school Audi Quatro, which he designed for off-road. The mid-80s unstoppable machine, as he referred to it. Rocks from dirt roads were hitting the bottom of his car, turn after turn. On every turn, he tried to spin his car sideways, for it to slide through the whole turn. He stormed through woods like crazy, leaving a trail of dust behind him. Shadow was appearing behind him when clouds started covering sunlight.

Sudden clouds pointed to one thing, rain was about to start. It always started at unexpected moments and brought only accidents for people like him. He never cared, for he was a hot-blooded adrenaline junkie. Shifting from one gear to another, thought about slowing down was another excuse for chickening out. In his mind, he thought he has nothing to lose, except the idea of becoming a father. The idea of being a father soon was one of the reasons why he went so fast. It was like nothing could stop him, not the terrain in the forest or the rain – which only got worse. Clouds turned from grey to dark blue clouds in the sky.

Speedometer never went lover than 100 km/h and turn after turn felt like scheduling date with death, but he couldn’t stop. He made a promise to his girlfriend, he’ll be there when she gives birth to his son. Who will he be, break that promise? He had a few beers before this, perhaps this gave him such courage and stupidity at the same time. With one thing on his mind, his son and only his son. Forgetting about his own safety, depending his life on one promise. That was all that mattered.

As he got out of woods, straight on the highway to hospital. Time was to push the pedal to the metal, flooring it hard enough for the engine to start revving like crazy.  The car had only two colors, green which was the original and dirt. Dirt was much enough to cover whole license plate, making it impossible to read. If off-road didn’t scare him – the highway was like child’s play for him. His feet never left the gas pedal and now it was just the matter of time until he gets to the hospital. Suddenly his phone rang.

“Honey, where are you, you said you’ll be here”

“I’m on my way to a hospital, just 20 minutes away. I promise”

“Drive safe”

“Love you”

She knew he liked to drive drunk. In his mind idea of having few beers didn’t impact his driving. He though completely opposite, it gets better. Alcohol removed the feeling of fear and eliminated the slightest thought about a possible crash. Short brief after a phone call with his girlfriend. Police cars lights emitted in cars back mirror, sending a clear sign to stop the car. He didn’t bother with slowing down. Police always meant trouble for intoxicated drivers and there was no way he would talk his way out of this situation. With having no way out without stopping, he thought of an idea to shake them off. Leaving him to steer off the highway, right into the woods. Rain got worse by the time he decides to steer off the highway. Changing regular dirt to muddy, his car could handle it and he was certain about it. Police cars weren’t made for dirt roads, but he was and he was counting on it.

Back at the hospital, she lowered her hand from the ear. Sudden feeling about baby forcing his way out. She felt like there was no time, the baby had to come out. Doctors and nurses arrived around her, morally ready to operate. She tried to convince the nurse and doctor to wait, to wait for the father of a baby. The pain was too much and she kept screaming. For a few minutes, there were only screams and the doctor offered her medication for pain. She agreed for a doctor to use anesthesia. A slight feeling of floating in bed took her over, but she still could feel her son knocking to get out. The pain was reduced, as her will to refuse for giving birth. Being on her back and floating in her mind, she heard a doctor saying.

“It’s time, we can’t wait longer, the baby has to be born. I respect the decision to wait for your boyfriend, but I have other patients to attend. They need my attention for as much as you do.”

She grabbed bed sheets with her arms, as there was no way to talk doctor for waiting longer. Under influence of anesthesia, she could still feel the pain but at a bearable scale. Hearing doctors saying her to push and think of her son who’s about to come to this world, a slight worry about something not right shaken her. For some brief time word “push” was coming from the delivery room. With all hospital silenced, all second floor could hear what was going on. And there he was, after few pushes he was born. With blue crystal clear eyes, like his fathers and smile of mothers.

It was the happiest moment of her life, but a tiny piece of sadness bothered her. The part that wanted her boyfriend to be there, at her happiest moment. She tried calling him, but there was no signal. Calls kept going straight to voicemail. An hour had passed and there was no sign of him. Holding her new-born son, she wondered what happened.

People were chattering a lot behind the walls and the sound of it couldn’t let her rest. It was a small hospital, with just a few rooms and thin walls between them. Knowing she couldn’t rest with all chattering going on. With curiosity – what’s the big deal? For setting off all people to sudden talking. Carrying her son, she went to look what was happening. With no clue what’s going on, she went to reception. She leaned forward to women who sat behind reception and asked.

“What’s with all the chattering? Is there something important going on?”

Right before she could answer her, a doctor appeared behind her. It was the same doctor from delivering room, this time he was without the company of nurses.

“Mis, did you told you boyfriends name was Constantine?”

“Yes, what is this all about? Did he arrived at the hospital?”

“Yes, he’s here, but I’m afraid not the way you imagine. We need you to came and recognize the body, we might be talking about two different males. This way is.”

With a soft hand gesture, he pointed to accident and emergency department room. Her mind was going crazy. Different scenarios began playing in her head.

They arrived at the A&E department, as she wanted to give out an answer, something squeezed her heart like a rubber ball. It was him, her son’s father, laying in the bed, with doctors around him. The doctor who led her there began catching up her on details.

“They are doing everything they can, he suffered internal bleeding. There are signs of intoxication, he might be driving drunk. Police said they were chasing him through woods. There is a slight chance he might pull through, but I won’t put a bet on it.”

“Doctor the need you there.”

A nurse invited doctor who stood, beside her

Mis, I invite you to come here. The doctors are doing everything they can. Could you just sit here, we inform as soon as we have some solid news.”

She sat down on the beach with a young born son in her arms. There was nothing she could do, but to only hold her new-born son and hope. Her heart felt like a rock, heavier than ever. She couldn’t imagine her life without him. A lot of thoughts ran through her head, the doctor came to her.

“What is it doctor, is he’ll be alright?”

She felt hope.,the tiny piece of hope, that they would become a happy family. About her boyfriend, who would teach their son how to repair cars. How she would make pancakes on sunny Sunday mornings. How they would go on family trips around the world.

“I’m sorry, we did everything we could, but he didn’t make it. He suffered severe internal bleeding, it was the miracle he didn’t die on the way here. I’m really sorry for your lost.”

                It was gone, tiny piece of hope shattered in little pieces. Remembering a quote what her father said when her mother passed away.

“Lord give and takes, for better or worse.”

She just had to see which of those it will be. After that, she named her son after his father.

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