Journey for Answers – Chapter 22 “Dark Place”

Matthew sat beside the cold concrete wall in a dusky room. The room itself was making him feel uncomfortable, but swinging lightbulb on the ceiling made it terrifying. Mind kept telling Matthew that he needs to relax because panic won’t help him at this moment. Shadow from his body illuminated at the right side of him, granting him the only companion who he could have at the moment. Matthew continued staring around the room, analyzing surroundings and looking form anything that could mean a way out. If there is a way out, then he will find it. For now, he sat with his back against the cold wall and stared around, tucking his knees close to his chest. He felt abandoned for the first time in a while. Like he was taken from a safe place and dropped in some dark lonely room, to spend his last moments alone, hopeless.

“I guess this is it. This is how I go. What unfortunate, right Nicole?”

He stared into the wall in front of him, where stood vague shape of Nicole. The pale skinned blonde girl. Only her skin has been a change from the last time Matthew saw her.

“Nicole. You weren’t so pale when we last met, remember? I know I do. Your skin was white, but not this white. It still had some resemblance how tanned you got last summer, the one you couldn’t stop talking about.” Matthew continuously kept staring into the empty concrete wall, imagining that there was his long-lost girlfriend.

In the room wasn’t any windows to feel less claustrophobic. In the door – which he didn’t notice at the beginning – had a small window at the bottom, with a small hole to peek through. It wasn’t for him to go and begin peeking through it, he’d rather sat with his legs tucked in his chest and stare into the vague shape of Nicole. In a few flashes, he could see her being transparent and a wall behind her, but it didn’t bother him. Grief for losing her was the thing that kept his attention this memory or vision appear normal for his mind.

“Nicole, if you could only see what we are doing. Well, we were doing, at least me. I’ coming for you Nicole. I will find you wherever you are because I know, I know that we pull each other close like two magnets. Remember when we told that to each other? I know I do. It feels like it was yesterday, Nicole. Thing is, I’m a little bit stuck now, but I will find my way out of here if there is any.”

Matthews’ knees left his chest and both palms faced the floor, beginning to ascend himself up. His back slid up against the wall until he reached the point where his body was straight, standing on both feet. Vague shape of Nicole never disappeared and it became his companion in the lonely dusky room. When his feet got off the ground and he began walking, he started to hear voices coming from the outside of a room. Following up on them he decided to take a peek through the small hole at the bottom of a door. Kneeling down to his knees, just try and take peek, in hopes of catching a glimpse from where the voice is coming from. Determined he laid down on his left shoulder and peeked through it. Nothing was there except for the corridor and another room in front of him. Matthew shouted a few times to room across the corridor but received no answer. Now, when time began losing its meaning he found himself more lonely and hopeless.

“I’m sorry Nicole, I don’t know what to do. I have no idea ho I can get out of here. I don’t even know if there’s someone coming to hurt me or save me. I feel abandoned. For the first time I feel that everyone had abandoned me,” he shrugged his shoulder and balanced himself with back against the wall “before there was Mike all the time. Remember Mike?’

Of course, you do. He’s the one who made silly jokes about us two being together. I always laughed about the way he cared for us, you know. I always thought about his opinion as a compliment to us because it almost never made sense and was built up in the very silly way. Until this moment I remember how he told that we are two swans swimming in a pile of uncertainty because we couldn’t decide if we want to make things serious between us. What a silly thing to worry about.”

Matthew laughed and he watched how the vague figure of Nicole smiled.

Matthew courage began raising up after seeing that smile, that small piece of satisfaction made him go further and his fist started to land on the door. Punching it furiously landing punch after punch, in hopes that it will disturb someone from the other side and he could know the answer why he’s here. After minutes passed by, his fists turned red from countless punches against the cold metal door. With final punch against the door he exhaled the breath, the breath of giving up on the punches and his back turned against the wall. Standing with his back against the door he began slowly sliding down, without leaving Nicole’s vague shape out of his eyesight.

“Nicole, what should I do? I can’t even get to you, despite my wish to see you again. I feel like time is running out like we don’t really have that much and I must. I must get to you, to see you, and hug you. Nicole, I get out of here, and when I do that, there’s nothing that keeps me from going straight to the southwest. I and Mike will get to you,” he smiled weirdly “like the old trio – me, you and Mike. It gives me goosebumps everytime I think about us. I don’t know how, but I’m coming for you Nicole, soon. This room won’t hold me forev-“

Suddenly he heard a familiar voice. The voice of a woman he knew for some time now. It was coming from the door. Matthew took a few steps back from it and continued staring at it. Voice became more solid, almost recognizable. The voice was coming close and Matthew was gaining his distance bigger with the door, taking one step after the other backward. Now he wasn’t alone there, there was someone or something familiar coming forward, the voice that he heard somewhere. Whatever it was, it was standing behind the door now. Matthew didn’t bother to peek through the door, he’d rather have taken a few steps back and watch it from a distance. The sound of locks opening raised hope in Matthew, and after that followed the sound of creaking while doors began opening. Heavy metal slid and scratched on floors surface, leaving a trail in the concrete. It was over. The doors were almost fully open. Light from the corridor illuminated Matthews whole body and voice that sounded familiar now was recognizable.

“Matthew! Matthew!”

“Caroline?” he muttered while covering his eyes with his hand because of light illuminating his face.


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