“Guys, you remember when we said we’d never drink booze and then when we started we told that we’d never smoke weed? Shit, look at us now.” I took a drag and passed it on to my cousin, who enjoyed speculating about the truth.
“Shit man, you just can’t stop remembering stuff like this don’t you?”
All of us started laughing, and couldn’t stop until Kev passed it back. I struggled with opening one of the cans from my backpack. Thing is, sitting on the edge of a bridge at 2 AM in the night and watching planes take off from the airport was our Thursday rituals. Except for this time, it was different. This time Kev was flying for Portugal and all three of us decided to spend the last night together. Actually I and Rich were there because we liked to get high and drink our minds away, the typical teenage stuff.
The night turned us into animals, who are seeking intoxication of our bodies and blurry image for our eyes. We were the ones who thought the reality is shitty, boring and the only way to make it more colorful was through smoking endless count of grass and chugging down the booze. It was the Kev who suggested us to drift this night away, together with him. He wanted to board the plane completely crashed, otherwise he felt boredom on sitting beside complete ‘mindless strangers’ as he described them. Kev was another kind of special. His judgment changed his perspective about the world, but for us, he somehow kept it to himself. I imagined our circle of us like three musketeers who hate humanity but like each other enough to take a bullet for each other.
“Look, look guys!” Rich pointed is a finger to ascending plane and we all watched how it pierce the night’s cloud, disappearing behind it.
“Just a few hours and you’re gonna be in that plane, with all the ‘meaningless humans’, piercing the same cloud.”
I laughingly mock the idea about the way Kev described humans around us. It was the Kevs attitude that made all of us mock his descriptions for a lot of things. The most hilarious one was the ‘short skins’ which was meant for small people wearing shorts on autumn days. Kevs an asshole who likes to be acknowledged for it.
“That won’t be my plane. Mines taking off later and with ‘normal people’” he moved his fingers in a mocking gesture “and before that, I must get off this planet – spiritually. So, what about that joint Charles?”
He rarely called me by my second name. Kevs only did that when his mind was going off the flushed head of his. Like a ufo leaving the earth base and going off to unknown cosmos, looking for the only God knows what.
Our heads leaned over the bridge and we all spit into the river, watching how the piece of our salema fell down to the water. We tried multiple times, to overhear it hitting the water over the sound of waves. We made it look like a competition, who’s spit had a better flight before crashing into the water. I and Rich looked in each other, and he immediately started pulling out the whiskey bottle from his backpack. He grinned while passing bottle towards me. I was smack from the grass already, but some part of me desired to get more wrecked; because it’s the last day we see Kev, and I have to keep up with him. Kev’s desire for getting wrecked rose on moments like this. It didn’t matter who’s leaving, the fact that one of us is leaving was already a good reason to get our faces smashed with help of booze.
I was done with sipping whiskey straight from the neck and passed it to Kev, who did the same thing but chugged a little bit more. The bottle was way past the middle after us taking a beating to it. With Kev it was simple: we drink or we don’t. It didn’t bother him if someone refuses or quits drinking with him, he would continue anyway. Now that I was the only one joining him on this bottle of ‘fine’ whiskey, which Rich put back in the backpack and pulled it out every time we asked for it. Rich wasn’t for the drinking, he never enjoyed it. Not that he didn’t like the drinking part; it wasn’t the booze but what came after it. Each morning after drinking he would complain about the headaches and ultimately quit drinking. Now, Rich is just another casual grass smoker, who stays away from the booze.
Time was closing into 3AM. Kevs plane was an hour and a half away from ascending into the air, and Kevs journey to Portugal would begin. Through laughter, Rich introduced our idea to get higher on grass – the last joint we would share. I was growing a little bit anxious about the whole leaving idea because Kev never did such things, and I, I was worried about him.
“Should we make it stronger than the last time?” Rich turned his backpack in front of him and began opening it.
“Sure you can do it while standing up?” Kev laughed
“Sure I can. Are you doubting me? You know I can do it in the cold winter, with my eye closed.”
Rich praised himself and we all laughed about it. He wasn’t lying about it either. I know he can do it, I’ve seen him perform such thing as rolling in the winter while the wind blew cold air on his naked hands. Remembering winter sent shivers across my skin. Kev looked at me suspiciously, shoving whiskey bottle in my chest.
He said only one word, one word that implied everything. I and Kev sipped from the neck again, almost finishing it up. We thought about finishing it, but urge to drink it later was enough to save it. Kev put it on the ground for later usage, for us to later extend our wreckage in the brain.
“Charles. I have to tell you one thing, something truly important and serious. Not like super serious, but serious enough to bother me, and you know there is barely anything that bothers my mind.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I interrupted him “It’s like that last time when you began telling it will be super serious, but in the end, it turned out a story about an unfortunate guy at the party.”
I wanted to be serious, but I couldn’t. Whiskey was doing its thing in my brain and body as well, I could feel it. I felt how my body mingled with the air around me. I was about to give a response to Kev, but Rich interrupted me before I could speak out a word.
“Lads, you’re ready?”
“Hell yeah,” Kev rubbed his palms against each other “let’s get this brain of my more fucked up.” They way Kev said it sounded horrible, but totally made sense for his personality.
Rich wiggled the joint in front of our eyes, inviting us to another ‘brain wreckage’. Without a hesitation we created a circle, just the three of us, passing a mini paper baseball bat from one hand to another. It felt like imagining the fucking goodbye to my mind. Whenever I held it in my hands, I wanted to pass it further; not like I didn’t want it, but it was too much for me. Somehow Kevs face was telling me the same thing, at least I thought it was.
When we were in the middle of our smoke break between drinking, Kev looked at me and somehow his look made me pause everything in my mind. I let him speak out his mind, we, we let him speak it out before we Rich drives him to the airport, which was ten minutes away.
“Guys, listen. I’m not flying away,” he took a drag from a joint “I was about to board that plane,” he pointed into the sky, to a plane who were ascending into the clouds “but I changed my mind. Something just didn’t felt right and I wanted to spend time with you guys” Our jaws dropped from what he just said. Mine wasn’t close to the ground as Richs.
“What the hell Kev. You kept blabbing about this thing for months and now you just skipped on it, just like that?” Rich turned his back to him and walked slightly away from him, muttering words under his nose. Once he turned back, Kev immediately started talking.
“Come on guys, I wanted to spend more time with you, I can always buy another ticket.”
“No you can’t, and you know it Kev.” Rich got angry at him
“Chill out man, it’s just a-“
The blasting sound from the sky above us kicked us off our feet. Our bodies shivered from the loud sound, and our head twisted towards the sky. Curiously we looked in the dark vast space of the sky and watch the plane on which Kev suppose to be, going up in flames. We watched how it began descending down, spiraling in the air as it was going down. The horrifying sigh how burning winged transport was now falling down. All those death which now seemed inevitable. It was the feeling in our stomachs that connected us now; the belief in Kev that he was alive with us now.