“Guys, remember when we said we’d never drink booze and then when we started, after that we told that we’d never smoke weed? Shit, look at us now.”
I took a drag and passed it on to my cousin, who enjoyed speculating about the truth.
“Shit man, you can’t stop mentioning stuff like this, don’t you?”
All three of us started laughing and couldn’t stop until Kev passed the spliff back. I struggled with opening one of the beer cans from my backpack. Yet, it hardly mattered. I was busy admiring our new habit – sitting on the edge of a bridge at 2 am. Some sort of thing we did only on Thursdays. It got us excited. Watching planes run the illuminated pathway and ascend into the sky. Now it was different. Kev was flying for Portugal. Rich and I were there to spend our last night together. More like because Rich and I liked to get fucked.
The night turned us into animals, who are seeking intoxication blurry visions. We were the ones who thought the reality is shitty. That it’s boring, and the only way to make it colorful is through an endless amount of grass and booze. It was the Kev who suggested us to drift this night away with him. He wanted to board the plane completely wasted. Otherwise, he felt bored sitting beside complete ‘mindless strangers’ – he described them. Kev was another kind of special. Kevs judgment molded his perspective about the world, but not for us, somehow he kept it to himself around us. I imagined our circle like three musketeers. Who hate humanity but like each other enough to take a bullet for any other.
“Look, look guys!” Rich pointed his a finger to the ascending plane, and we all watched. How winged beast pierce the night’s cloud and disappears behind it.
“A few hours and you’re gonna be on that plane, with all the ‘meaningless humans’, piercing the same cloud.”
I mocked the idea about the way Kev described humans around us. It was his attitude that made all us ridicule his descriptions for a lot of things. The most hilarious one was the ‘short skins’. That stood for small people wearing shorts on autumn days. Kevs an asshole and he likes to admire about it.
“That won’t be my plane because mine is taking off later and with normal people.” Kev moved his fingers in a mocking gesture “But before that, I must get off this planet. So what about that spliff Charles?”
He rarely called me by my second name. He only did that when his mind was going off in the flushed head of his. Like a ufo leaving the earth base and going off to unknown cosmos, looking for God knows what.
Our heads leaned over the bridge, and we all spit into the river, watching how our spit is falling down into the water. We tried many times to try hearing it hit the water surface. Somehow we made it look like a competition. Fighting over whos spit has a better flight before crashing into the water. When mine and Rich’s eyes met each other. He immediately started pulling out whiskey bottle from his backpack. Rich grinned with a sinister smile while passed the bottle. I’m wasted from the grass already, but some part of me wanted to get more wrecked. It was because this is the last day I got to see Kev, or because I have to keep up with him. Kev’s desire for getting wrecked rose on moments like this. It didn’t matter who’s leaving. The fact that one of us is leaving was already a good reason to get our faces smashed with help of booze.
I’m done with sipping whiskey straight from the neck. With blurred face I passed it to Kev, who does the same thing, except, he chugged it a little bit more. The bottle was way past the middle after us taking a beating to it. With Kev it was simple: we drink or we don’t. It didn’t bother him if someone refuses or quits drinking with him, he would continue anyway. I was the only one joining him on this bottle of ‘fine’ whiskey before Rich took the bottle back in the backpack. Rich was pulling it out every time we asked for it. Rich wasn’t for drinking, he never enjoyed it. Not that he didn’t like the drinking part. He hardly enjoyed what came after it. Each morning after drinking he would complain about the headaches. In the end, it got him to quit drinking. Now, Rich is another casual grass smoker, who stays away from the booze.
Time was closing into 3 am. Kevs plane was an hour and a half away from ascending into the air and putting him on a journey to Portugal. We were laughing had and Rich invited us to get higher. The last joint which we would share. I was growing a little bit anxious about the whole leaving idea. Kev never did such things, and I began worrying about him.
“Should we make it stronger than the last time?” Rich turned his backpack in front of him and began opening it.
“Sure you can do it while standing up?” Kev laughed
“Sure I can. I can do it in the cold winter, with my eyes closed.”
Rich praised himself, and we all laughed about it. But, he wasn’t lying about it. Kev and I knew that he can do it. I’ve seen him roll in the winter, in cold air with his naked hands. Remembering winter sent shivers across my skin. Kev looked at me with a suspicious look and shoving whiskey bottle in my chest.
He said only one word, and it described everything. Kev and I sipped from the neck again, almost finished it up. We thought about ending it, but urge to drink it later was enough to keep it. Kev put it on the ground for later usage. To extend blurry visions.
“Charles. I have to tell you one thing, something important and serious. Not like super serious, but serious enough to bother me. You know there is almost nothing that bothers my mind.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” I interrupted him “It’s like that last time when you began telling it will be super serious. But in the end, it turned out a story about an unfortunate guy at the party.”
I wanted to be serious but I couldn’t. Whiskey was doing its thing in my brain and belly. I felt how my whole body mingled with the air around me. I was about to give a response to Kev, but Rich interrupted me before I could speak out a word.
“Lads, you’re ready?”
“Hell yeah,” Kev rubbed his palms against each other “Let’s get this brain of my more fucked up.” The way Kev said it sounded horrible, but it made sense for his personality.
Rich wiggled the joint in front of our eyes, inviting us for another round. Without hesitation, we created a circle. The three of us, passing a mini paper baseball bat from one hand to another. It felt like saying goodbye to my fucking mind. Whenever I held it in my hands I wanted to pass it further. Not like I didn’t want it, but it was too much for me. Somehow, Kevs face was telling me he feels the same way. When we were in the middle of our smoke break and drinking. Kev looked at me, and his look made me pause everything in my mind. We both let him speak before Rich drives him to the airport after ten minutes.
“Guys, listen. I’m not flying away.” he took a drag from a spliff “I was about to board that plane.” he pointed into the sky, to a plane who was ascending into the clouds “But I changed my mind. Something didn’t feel right, and I wanted to spend more time with you guys.”
Our jaws dropped from what Kev said. Mine wasn’t as close to the ground as Richs.
“What the hell Kev. You kept blabbing about this thing for months, and now you skipping on it. Like that huh?”
Rich turned his back to him and walked away from him, muttering words under his nose. Once Rich was about to turn back, Kev immediately started talking.
“Come on guys, I wanted to spend more time with you, I can always buy another ticket.”
“No you can’t, and you know it Kev!” Rich got angry at him
“Chill out man, it’s just a-“
The blasting sound from the sky kicked us off our feet. Our bodies shivered from the loud sound, and our heads turned towards the sky. We looked into the dark, vast space and watched how Kevs plane goes up in flames. We saw it going down. Spiraling in the air and diving towards the ground. The horrifying sight of burning winged beast falling. All those deaths seemed inevitable now. It was the feeling in our stomachs that connected us now. The belief that Kev is alive with us now.