“Okay, let me just grab a pen and get it to flow naturally, like in the old days.”
Full with confidence I loosen my mind and let my hand do the rest. Just like in the old days, when I could write without a stop and don’t think about how it looks, just write it.
Suddenly a strange voice appears from nowhere: “You know it’s not all to that?”
“What? Who are you?”
I turned around like expecting someone to be there, but receive nothing more than a disappointment. I forgot I’m completely alone in my room. It’s just me and my mind.
Candlelight at my right keeps dancing like it’s being pushed by someone. I keep imagining the last weeks’ project I’ve been and how I’m gonna tell a story about it.
“You really think they will care about it?”
The voice sounds angrier this time. It comes from somewhere, but I can’t figure out from where. Aimlessly I turn my head around and still nothing. The pitch black darkness stands behind me, while candle on the table keeps me warm at this silent night.
Some people might wish for this kind of set up – peaceful, calm and lonely. Yet I find it oddly disturbing. The darkness is one thing to wonder about and candle, well, its light keeps moving around like I’m not the only one in the room.
“Man, really? How can you possibly think you can get back in the saddle after months of absence?”
Thinking I might confront the voice I move my tongue “Who are you? Show yourself!”
I jump up from my comfortable chair in which I created a dent that only my ass can sit on. Full with confidence I stand in silence like I’m awaiting someone in the room.
“Ouh dummy. Look up!”
I follow instructions and look at the ceiling just to see a white coat of paint completely dry and dripping down, piece by piece.
“No, not there. Here, in a place, you nurture less than you should and someone like me appears to start making a mess. You don’t want a mess don’t you?”
“You’re in my head. Why I’m not surprised?”
“Maybe it’s because you haven’t got enough sleep and you begin to hallucinate?” the voices tone changes to more lovely and warmer “Come on, let’s go to bed, even I’m getting tired.”